His Truth, My Truth and The Truth

I stood up and told them
he stole my skin;
he tore me with trauma;
he robbed and he ruined.
This happened repeatedly.
I rose from the ruin as a Truth Teller and told The Truth.
I sat down.

He rose in the Fatness of his Falseness.
He told them “His Truth.”
He opined his own victimization – he who victimized.
He rose as an Opinionated Liar and spoke “His Truth.”
He sat down.

When there is ambiguity in the language in the offender/victim dyad, those ambiguities are interpreted in favor of the offender. Both offenders/victims cannot logically hold their “Truths.” I have had it up to neck with the phrase “My Truth.” It’s either the truth or it is not. Both you and your offender, by the rules of logic, CANNOT both be telling “The Truth.”

By saying this is “My Truth” you are leaving open the option that your offender has “His Truth” – which is, in fact, opinionated lies. We survivors can shoot ourselves in our own broken legs with language.

The Urban Dictionary defines the household term “my truth” as follows:

Pretentious substitute for “non-negotiable personal opinion.” Often used by academics, this is a convenient phrase for avoiding arguments because people can contradict your opinion but not your “truth.” The phrase is often used when seeking to justify a controversial personal stance or action because people are not allowed to argue with “your truth.”

The Merriam-Webster Dictionary helps us to define “The Truth” and helps to differentiate it from “My Truth.”

1: the body of real things, events, and facts : actuality
2: the state of being the case: fact
3: the property (as of a statement) of being in accord with fact or reality

“If there is one thing I wish survivors and advocates would do, it would be to jettison the vocabulary of “my truth” and instead just say “the truth.” Truth isn’t subjective, and what happened to you and to others are facts. “Facts are stubborn things,” John Adams said, and I think we can—and should—be confident in the truth prevailing.” – Ryan Ashton

If you are going to speak up against an offender, be it in:

The Court of Law,
The Court of Public Opinion,
or a Private Tribunal – BE PRECISE.

Your language matters.
You matter.

In light of the fact that language matters and you matter – I urge you to contemplate the small, subtle and spectacular difference as defined herein. This may cause you to consider relinquishing the term, “My truth” and replace it with THE TRUTH.

You are, after all, Truth Tellers NOT Opinionated Liars.

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