This post is an attempt to set right a grievous wrong against an undeserved man.
From Victim to Victim Advocate
We have this false notion that because we “know” someone to be upstanding in the light, that somehow they are upstanding in the dark. This does not bear out with the lived experience of millions of survivors or evidence.
Last Night We Wept
Last night B and I talked long, soft, and slow. Two and a half years after the #churchtoo tsunami of trauma, he had built enough of a cognitive framework about powerlessness, vulnerability, predation, and betrayal trauma to sit with me. It was the first sip he took of my sorrow. We wept. Clergy sexual abuse…
A Letter to A Friend
I sat this morning in a sacred space with a secondary victim while he searched through the lexicon between his head and his heart to find the words for the betrayal trauma of #churchtoo; the loss of faith in Christendom; the amputation of communal identity; the silence that is deafening. He wept. I listened as he…
A Treaty With Me
Dear Weary Ones, Years ago I made the deliberate choice (a treaty with myself of sorts) to do the following: 1. Speak only good about myself, sure work on what I see as problem areas, but I would not constantly berate/judge myself ever again. 2. I would never obsess over my weight. I would simply…
The Courageous, The Coward & The Christ
Disclaimer: The following piece is referencing abuse in faith-based communities. Underlying this post is the caustic notion that victims are somehow responsible to face their offenders; to adjudicate justice against their offender; when just facing another day takes all the courage they have. It hits on the pretentious Pontius Pilates who smugly wash their hands…
Nothing. No One. Never.
“A life can be shattered in a single moment. It’s normal to want instant repair. But the piecing back together requires befriending every jagged edge and sharp corner. And the scars seen in the end will tell not of the shattering, but of the resilience and value of the life.” Dr. Wade Mullen Sexual abuse…
Finiteness, Fragility & Fruit
Finite:
1. having bounds or limits; not infinite; measurable.
2. subject to limitations or conditions