Great Knots of Knowing

Sexual abuse by anyone is a savage storm and subsequent shipwreck to the survivor, the family, and the community.

Evidence suggests that in the aftermath of clergy sexual abuse, most victims leave the faith that became a weapon of warfare in the hands of the offender; a sword of slaughter that fillets the faithful. The church, now a place of carnage; the pulpit, now a platform for perversion. The holy writ, now words of wreckage; the sacred, now sexualized; the law now lauded to make acceptable the appalling actions of the abuser.

The storm became a tsunami in my life, the life of my family, and the faith community. Lost in the perilous sea of another’s perversion,

There is nothing pious or pretentious about the above statement. To lash yourself to the mast is to literally bind yourself with ropes to the mast of a wooden boat so that the surges of the storm will not wash you overboard. It has NOTHING to do with tenaciously gripping to faith, it has everything to do with binding yourself to stability in the storm.

The storm is now over – the waves and the wind have finally obeyed. The rage has resided and the ruin remains a residue. Dripping, drained, and exhausted, I am yet lashed to the mast of my faith.

Slow will be the removal of the ropes. My belief rests now in great knots of knowing.