Trauma and Recovery Self Check

Being sexually victimised, either by power or persuasion, it is like being in a trauma train wreck. You are the primary victim but your partner/children  are secondary victims. This is a list of things to ask yourself about you. It is not exhaustive but it is a place to start. These questions are intended to help you look forensically and where you are at and what you may like to or need to prioritize to move towards greater well being.

The Self

1. How is my sleeping?
2. How is my eating?
3. How is my exercise?
4. How is my physical health?
5. How is my emotional health?
6. How is my spiritual health?
7. Do I have sufficient leisure?

The Partnership

8. How is my financial health?
9. How is the health of my partnership/marriage?
   1. Conflict management
   2. Communication
   3. Are we each in therapy for the trauma and secondary?
   4. Are we able to have strategies to deal with the trauma when it comes up?
   5. Physical expression of partnership
      1. Time
      2. Touch
      3. Talk
      4. Togetherness

The Children

10. If I have kids
    1. How is my relationship with each of them?
    2. How is their relationship with each other?
    3. Do I feel like I am connected to my kids?
    4. Do I feel like I am overly connected to my kids?

The Community

11. Do I spend time with people that I enjoy and with whom I feel emotionally and physically safe?
12. Are my place of worship/community/employment/leisure places of safety and a refuge for me?

Note: When making a decision on what next steps to take, factor in your top priorities first and then add more only once those are safe and stable. Priorities may change based on circumstances. You can really only plan for what you know now, not what might be. Recovery from trauma is a triage. Treat it as such.