I have never been more disgusted by deception and #AbuseOfPower than by those who claim to advocate of the abused and oppressed. I thought abuse was low. Let me tell you — it gets lower. Don’t @ me. You damn well know who you are. And I know too.
I have written about rot in advocacy with a view to inform others. Anyone who draws you to themselves is a red flag. Anyone who exerts undue influence is a problem. Anyone who claims to be able to protect you – yikes. They cannot. You must learn how to protect your precious self.
Potentially abusive advocates may include but not be limited to:
Anyone whose platform is higher than its people.
Anyone who will not mingle.
Anyone who has odd boundaries (too rigid or too loose).
Anyone who marginalizes or maligns others online.
Anyone too pliable.
Anyone who is a blamer.
Anyone that gives direct advice.
Anyone who uses coercion or control; subtle or overt.
Anyone you are afraid to confront or question.
Anyone you are afraid to unfollow.
Anyone who is unduly divisive.
Anyone who is trying to monotize your misery.
Anyone who lacks self awareness.
Anyone who uses oppressive tactics.
Anyone who DARVO’s.
Anyone who is into kingdom building (their own).
Anyone with false humility.
Anyone who uses survivorship as a salacious sales pitch.
ANYTHING that disempowers a survivor. Anything that leads to an abdication of authority from the abused is wrong. However well intentioned the advocate. However small. However seemingly insignificant.
Still wrong.
The overwhelming majority of advocates I have met are good and decent people. They inform and empower. The fractured few make a mockery of the rest. I fear that there are those who have learned the theology of their oppressors have become pulpit profiteers — calling it good.
It is not.
The abused need to be empowered so that they can prevent people from abusing them. If you govern them in the name of good, you have prepared them for the next nefarious nitwit.
Inform me.
Empower me.
Inspire me even.
But do not endeavour to rule me.