I will tell him in time, in bite-size packages about abuse, vulnerability, brokenness, and power. A powerful person himself, he must learn to wield his power well.
I was nervous to meet you. Nervous not to be enough. I was afraid to be, to bring my body not just my soul to you. And there you were – althogther lovely and smashing.
Sexual violence invades the space that you inhabit – literally leaving you feel like ruined refuse.
Not speaking was confirmed by crushing circumstances, brutal beatings, sexual abuse, and wholesale neglect.
“A (wrong) sum can be put right: but only by going back til you find the error and working it afresh from that point, never by simply going on. Evil can be undone, but it cannot ‘develop’ into good. Time does not heal it. The spell must be unwound, bit by bit, ‘with backward mutters of dissevering power.” – CS Lewis
The rains of ruin,
Eddy at my feet.
I clutch His.
Dry them with unwound hair.
On days when I am drenched in the trench… when the rain of ruin runs freely through the guts and gutters of life, I ascribe to the gospel of “Do The Next Thing.”
Wash the sheets, feed the children, walk the dog, mop the floor.
There is much mercy in the mundane.
Love never stops wanting what is or what would have been best for the beloved… I love him deep.
Love is the only gift best given – when least deserved.
“A woman must have money and a room of her own if she is to write fiction.” – Virginia Woolf