There is an isolating lie that abuse births, “You are alone, no one will hear, no one will care, and no one will help.” Long after the survivor escapes the savagery, the lie lingers. It rests just outside the reach of the present reality, residing in the ruins of what was.
The ongoing and ambivalent work is to restore the ruins, reaching in to help the small, soft, and scared places. It is you now who must reach for you then. It is you who must connect, care for, hear, validate, and value your wounded self. You must, as it were, collect yourself.
As you are able (with the help of a good trauma therapist) you retrieve the sad, angry, and vulnerable bits. You look at your courage, your coping, and your strength. You welcome home the wounded and weak places. You do. You must.
You in a sense are on an all-out rescue mission. You are not alone; you have help; hope is your harbinger. You reach for the rock that is higher than you; with everlasting arms, you are held. You learn to contain your own soul, inhabit your own self, and protect your own personhood.
In time, as you learn to connect to and care for yourself, you will connect with and care for safe others. They, in turn, will care for you. For love always begets love.
