Choice?

Disclaimer: Before you dive in, let’s talk. I wrote this angry – right good and angry. It contains true details of survivors sexual abuse stories. I am not one to give details for voyeurism. I give them to delineate between choice and coercion. I warn you – it is a choice to read. You cannot unread. Once you know – you cannot un-know.

I’m about to spit nails.

People wield the language of CHOICE like a weapon.
I’ll tell you who talks about CHOICE like that…
People who damn well have it.
That’s who.

What do you do when your chooser is broken? What do you have to say about choice, you who have had it in the air you breathe? You who are presumptuous, pretentious – you who parade “choice” as if all had an equal measure of it.

All DO NOT.

She was little, he was big. He threatened to get her younger sister if she didn’t open her legs.

He was small, he was big. He grabbed his clothes and then his body. His biology betrayed him – his body responded. He could have run I suppose, except trauma froze his legs in place. He stroked his needs long before his boyhood, stole his trust long before his innocence.

Blood streamed from his eye mingled with tears down his mangled face. He just got out on bail, after he crashed his car in an unsuccessful suicide attempt. He had already murdered the souls of all his daughters and heaped suffocating shame on his son. Watery blood poured down his perverted face as he looked into hers, “You don’t hate me do you?” She did indeed. “Tell Daddy you love him,” said he. She stiffly spoke words of love while misery mixed with revulsion, boiled in her belly.

The hopes and fears of all her years met with the perfect package of paternal predation; hidden in steaming cup of piety, platform, position, and prestige. She sipped the cup of friendship slowly over time, extended by the arm of a snake hidden by a suit. Slowly her senses lulled, he ate her alive, the snake, that is.

“This is what it means to belong,” swooned The Father to The Orphan. His arm swung around him, gripping in paternal love, while he reaches for his wallet, or his manhood, his hope, or all of the above.

It is audacious to tell an abuse survivor that they must have CHOSEN abuse.

Abuse OBLITERATES choice.
DO NOT do likewise.